I spent the morning working on my shot breakdown spreadsheet, getting all the details on each shot in to prepare to shoot the film. It is a tedious process, but it will make the difference between focusing on the puppetry performances as a director or trying to figure out what we should shoot and whether it will flow with connecting shots.There was a handicrafts fair at Tollinton Market. It had a rs 200 entry fee, so that kept out most of the general public, and I got to see a lot of those wealthy folks from the other side of Lahore. It was quite miserable to be there. There was a lot of beautiful work on display. There were clothes, decoration pieces of wood and metal, paintings, toys, furniture and all kinds of beautiful things to appreciate, but it was so packed that I had to really force myself to walk through all of it. I just wanted to get out and stop dealing with all of this crap during this entire journey to make this film. I was looking for some clay pots that I need as props. I had picked some up in Multan which I would use for some shots, but I felt the need for some different ones for other shots. Unfortunately, the clay artists at the show did not have that, so I will search elsewhere.I pulled myself out of the show and walked over to Anarkali, thinking I would enjoy some food. Somehow, my mood was just sour. I walked up and down the street and though I was hungry, I did not want to deal with, see or eat any of it. I just did not feel a thing for any of my surroundings. The things I appreciate about being in Lahore, all seemed to just turn to ash and none of it mattered one bit to me. If anything, I felt really agitated by the usual insanity of motorcycles and cars trying to murder you in crowded streets like Anarkali and on main roads. There is no quarter given to pedestrians or really anything or anyone.So, I walked through New Anarkali which is even more crowded to find my way to Lohari Gate. I walked through the old city, all the way out to Delhi Gate, not caring where I might get lost on a wrong turn. I walked down all kinds of lanes, and felt none of that joy I usually feel, even in the madness of the old city. I did not stop to eat anything.Walking out Delhi Gate, I picked up some lace, bits of thin dupatta cloth and rope to use for backgrounds. I walked through traffic to Landa bazaar and started digging through the piles of cloth. There were even more people out today than usual, which is really saying something. I felt pretty miserable, but I kept walking and searching for materials. I found some large sheets of cloth that would take care of a few background related needs for “Risalo”.After that, I just walked all the way through the walled city again, grabbed an aloo naan along the way and munched it on the way to Hafiz Juice Corner back at Anarkali. I sat down tired and had a khoya khajoor shake. You don’t get those in Los Angeles as far as I know. It was nice. I walked through the book bazaar to Pak Tea House to meet a couple of friends I had not seen in a while. It was nice to catch up. They were headed back to Datchi and said my ticket should work to get back in, so I joined. I’m glad I did. It was still packed, but I certainly felt better with friends.I walked around once more and this time a few other things occurred to me to pick up. I finally found some clothes I liked for my adorable baby niece. One piece was from a project supporting women’s livelihoods in Sukhur, Sindh, while the other was from women in Peshawar, KPK. They are both beautiful and I can’t wait to be back in Los Angeles away from this mess, and in another, but at least playing with her.I also found some more ajrak. I had one that I picked up to go around the neck of a puppet, because I need a thinner cloth than traditional ajrak. I ended up getting a printed ajrak, as opposed to an actual block printed cloth and it was far too clean looking with crisp lines and none of the beauty and warmth of real ajrak. The thought of using it bothered me each time I looked at it. Besides that I needed some cloth to match or contrast another character’s dress to add a dupatta for a scene. There was an organization that had ajrak done on thinner cloth and one regular one that matched the dress, so I picked up both. It felt good to manage that.We all head back and I shared the animatics with my friends. One they felt worked really well, while they other was less easy to follow in just a visual form. That is good feedback, so I will work on that. I’m so exhausted. This day has been tough, not because anything in particular happened, but I push so hard to get each thing done and surprisingly manage a few things here and there, only to have to chase the next thing. Whether looking for items I need for the film or chasing down people that I am working with, I am so tired. It gets to me at times, and today was one of those times, where I just wanted to torch all of this, not because I don’t love the work that has been done so far, but because I don’t want to deal with the rest of this garbage it will take to try and get it done.That is just how it goes. I get it out of my system and I’m back at it the next morning. I’m too stubborn to just stop. I believe too much in the potential that we can make something beautiful and that it can benefit some people in this corruption riddled mess of a world. Yeah, I think that’s what it will be tomorrow, but today I just want it all to be done, so I can go home.