I woke up and made some tea. My friend Imran’s home is rather quiet most of the day. Umar works at night, and Imran heads out for work in the morning, so for most of my time, it is just me and my thoughts. When I was preparing to shoot “Risalo”, things were quite busy, struggling against constant load shedding and piecing together storyboards and resources. Since I decided to take this production home, I have put all of that on hold.My mind still swims around ideas of how I will make use of this extended time and the potential resources I can piece together in Los Angeles to make this film what it truly should be. There is also that lingering self doubt as to whether I can pull together all of these beautiful elements into a worthy whole that expresses the ideas and experience that I am working so hard to create.Other than that, I made the rounds visiting more relatives before I leave. This time I visited a few families that live near where the Prime Minister lives. This makes for challenges when you are coming by bus and walking around, looking for an address. Eventually, my aunt and uncle drove up and got me from a market in the area.I found it interesting that with the older generation, conversation went to religious stuff and eternal damnation if one does not choose the right path. None of my generation had that to say. Other than that, there was the usual asking about the rest of my family which is sweet, eating lots of food and many, many long and awkward silences. I don’t understand this obsession with eternal damnation and fire and brimstone, so I would try and ask about grandkids or other more lovable family members. I was surprised that they had nothing to say about that and the conversation would go back to the necessity to follow the exact correct belief. Seriously, that is some headache inducing stuff. How can you enjoy good food, and have such nice little grandkids and still be obsessed with just hellfire and earning brownie points for the afterlife? I mean, I get if you have a pyramid scheme, you just have to blurt it out once, maybe twice, but then I would figure the mention of grandkids would bring a little joy to your face and a harmless silly story or two.As religion obsessed as people are, I wonder where that appreciation for their quality of life and love went and why people feel that this is the best way to “sell” their beliefs to others? I try to respond less to these things as I am older now and not under anyone else’s thumb, but I do find myself pouncing on certain remarks with some rebuttal, and in that way refrain from the four letter responses that are running through my head.Interestingly, I feel that the adult children of those same relatives are quite different. They too love their religion and practice to varying degrees, but I have not seen that same obsession with punishment, damnation and salvation. Perhaps in that there is some hope.