I sat updating my blog. My wife is going to Rajasthan to get some puppets, so I did some coordinating with Rajesh, the puppeteer in Udaipur, Rajasthan from whom I plan to purchase more background characters for “Risalo”.I feel grateful for the recording session yesterday, after a ridiculous number of challenges. I got to thinking about a few things. The previous morning, Saeed Mangi sahib at Sindhology had remarked that what I was dealing with here was by my own choice, I think as in because I was doing this project. My reply was that it was not entirely my choice, but he insisted several times that it was my choice and that was all there was to it. I left it at that, as I really needed my brain focused on working with the musicians.There are various assumptions that we all make about each other I suppose. We decide on certain hard and fast rules and that is it. Certainly, I made a decision to create this puppet film; “Risalo”, but I disagree that all that I have been through has been due to my choice. I have found, on many occasions here, that people assume you have some infinite store of wealth, for who would take a risk for something that lead to no academic credentials nor any guaranteed income when you can’t quite afford it?I remember Sadar sahib in Multan wanted to know my caste as several people have asked on this trip so badly. This isn’t quite the same as the major castes in Hinduism, but there are similarities. This “caste” tells people where your family is from and what, perhaps a hundred years ago they might have done as work. There are certainly social dynamics to it. He pestered me so much, that finally I told him, even though I despise all of that horse shit. His immediate response was, oh I have seen they (as in my “group”) have huge mansions around town. It was such an arbitrary load of nonsense. I could have said anything and he would have responded with that. We must define others by what we perceive as the infinite resources at their disposal. With certain privileges, they must not suffer any of the challenges that others do. That perhaps makes folks feel better at times. In a sense, I feel at times people are like screw this guy. He doesn’t have to be here. He could fly around the world while people threw more money at him for showing up. Ok, fantastic.That is easier to believe than the fact that some idiot would pack up and leave with his almost spent savings to try and create something. I’m not the only one to take on a challenge. People here that do the same don’t ask those questions or try to look for reasons to think you have a silver spoon in your mouth.There are things that are easier and many that are more difficult for me than the next person. It is just tiring to struggle and have people just tell you, even when you are not complaining about it, that you’re here for fun, or well, you wanted this so there. I see people with lots of challenges. I also see people owning homes. I don’t even have a place to live. When the musicians came to my room, they could not stand it for 15 minutes, and yet I am grateful for it, though I wonder how I will get through whatever number of days it will take me to finish here.In the evening, Najib sahib dropped by to visit. He saw how exhausted I was and kindly gave me a spot to sleep in his guest house. AC and fan, in a room less hot than my hostel room. What more could I ask for? I feel like these little wins are what help me keep going when I feel I can’t do any more.