Lessons and Obstacles

I got up early to take two scripts to Mehboob Ali Shah sahib, the kind and wise Sufi who has given me deep insights into Shah Latif’s poetry. There were a few issues. I did not have enough small bills to get to his place, as rickshaws don’t carry much change.This whole situation is a pretty good illustration of the way I have to go about things here. There are always multiple obstacles and challenges to each little task. It was early, so no breakfast as the cafeteria or mess hall was not open yet and there were no rickshaws on my street. I walked down and found one parked. Once I reached it, I realized it was empty with no driver in sight. I walked further along and kept looking back when I heard a rickshaw like sound, only to see a few motorcycles pass.Finally, I saw a rickshaw and flagged it down. I knew I had enough cash to get to the railway crossing. I would have to figure out the rest of the way from there, with no banks open or shops that I could get change from at that hour. I asked how much, the driver said Rs. 50 and I hopped on. Good, I would still have Rs. 30 in small bills. I took the bumpy ride over, planning how I could manage the rest of the way.Once I got there, the driver stopped just before the tracks. I crossed over and walked to the street I needed to go down. There were qing qis there, so I managed to get a shared ride for Rs. 10. Great, I still had Rs. 20 left, so I could get to Mehboob sahib’s home and back from there to the railway crossing afterwards.It was great to see Mehboob sahib after about a month. We sat down, and he asked some questions about camera gear as he is interested in recording as well. I set up a little tripod with the camera and shotgun mic. I had come to record Mehboob sahib reading the Sindhi verses for the two pieces that I had double checked and verified by Muhib sahib the day before. With this correct pronunciation from Mehboob sahib, of this difficult language, I could give the singers a guide to practice from. I really appreciate all the people that are helping me. Things can be stressful, disappointing and frustrating, but something about Mehboob sahib, I always leave richer in mind and spirit after seeing him.He is very encouraging of my efforts and told me that he had mentioned me in conversation to someone at Mehran University. I really appreciate the support, and through all the ups and downs I try to hang on to every bit of positive energy and encouragement to help me through.I set things up and Mehboob sahib read through the printouts of the two scripts I had brought. He read slowly and with care to get things just right. It was a fairly smooth process. A few times some of the kids came by, and I felt sad for his little grandson who wanted to sit in his lap, but was turned away so grandpa could record poetry for my benefit. There were plenty of loud noises, from passing vehicles on the road and blaring music. I hoped that the mic would do a decent job of focusing on Mehboob sahib’s voice. Unfortunately, my setup does not allow me to monitor audio. I know, not good, but thankfully, I won’t be recording any of my final audio myself.After going through the pages of script, we finished sooner than our usual sessions. Mehboob sahib thanked me. I was taken aback as all I could think was that I am thankful to him and each of the friends who have poured time into this seemingly impossible task. He said he appreciated that I brought this work to him, as it would give him an opportunity to spend time with verses that he had not gone into deeply before. After all, Shah Latif’s Risalo is rich with hundreds of pages of verses, each with incredible depth. He is completely committed to connecting people to these deeper meanings. To that end, he asked if he could get a copy of the script, which I gave, so that he could spend some time either writing up or recording some explanations of the verses I had chosen.As usual, I felt goosebumps talking to him, and listening to him. He had just offered me something I had hoped for, a guide to the verses I chose, that I might bring that depth, not found in the Urdu translation to audiences. This would certainly help with the eventual English subtitles along with a few other books I have picked up.After a bit, he continued with a story. He told me about a man who had once come to him stating that he was unhappy. He described a staggering multitude of wealth in possessions, from a huge, extravagant home, to cars and all manner of luxuries. Yet despite all of it, he could not find happiness. It seemed obvious, that though he had external possessions, he lacked what he really needed within his heart.While the idea is basic, that merely physical possessions don’t lead to self satisfaction, it was the discussion that was interesting. He wove together several stories that served this point and a deeper overall one. There was the idea that monetary wealth was not self satisfying in itself.One needed internal equilibrium. Here the conversation shifted to the idea that one who is connected deeply and spiritually will take joy not just when things are easy and joyful, but even when things are difficult. That is a pretty tough lesson to apply. I thought about my own struggles and those of the people helping me, who themselves are facing numerous life and work challenges.There was discussion of the idea that only God, parents and respected elders could be counted on in times of need, for all friends could turn away and become enemies at any moment. I do trust my friends, but certainly there are a few relations you can feel a bit more comfortable asking for help from.He related a story of Hazrat Ali, during a battle with another leader. The other leader took the Quran out on the battlefield and Hazrat Ali’s troops stopped fighting, lest they desecrate it. Hazrat Ali explained that the opposing forces were just using the Quran, not as truth, but as a distraction. It was all about intentions. Not looking at ritual, but what lies in your heart. Duality, those that do not believe at all are more honest for they do not perform rituals, while their hearts lie elsewhere. They are honest in their ways inwardly and outwardly, which is more favorable than those who would suppose to believe through rituals but not in their hearts.An elderly person, with no heirs came to Mehboob sahib’s father one day and wished to give all of his money to him as he felt he would die soon and have no use for it. His father, though in financial need, supporting a family, took only two bills then returned the rest to the man, telling him to keep it for a day he would need it. Explaining his actions to his questioning children later, he said that he took a small taste as it would satisfy the elderly man that he was not rejecting him, while still allowing him to keep most of his money for his own future need.The struggles of thoughts versus actions is a big one. To be honest in your behavior and thoughts is important. This much I think I manage for the most part, even when things aren’t going so well.After we finished our session, I thanked Mehboob sahib, who asked what I was doing next. I appreciate his care. I shared my plans to take this to singers to get rehearsals started and then said goodbye. With my twenty rupees I got on another Qing Qi to the rail crossing (phaatak). Once there, I needed to get some change. I walked through the madness of vendors, motorcycles, donkeys, rickshaws, buses and trucks, over to a bank. Of course they had no small bills. So I took a Rs. 1,000 note and got two Rs. 500 notes. This was a bit better, but still not small enough for the rickshaw ride back. So, I crossed the mad street to the gas station. The store had a lock on the door. I walked down further, looking for a place that looked likely to be able and willing to break a Rs. 500 note. Finally, I found a shop, picked up a soda and a chocolate milk and got some change for one of the Rs. 500 notes. This is how I get through most days here as a series of obstacles to reach small goals.I took the drinks, hopped in a rickshaw and head back to the hostel, doing a mental check of the next few tasks I needed to do, and the logistics involved therein. I spent the rest of the day resting and editing the recordings for the musicians.